Cecilia's Mate Read online

  “She’s already had my father sign the contracts.” As a Craegin female of a fairly well-to-do family, Cece had no choice. Her guardian had already sold her off. Her hands were tied. “I want to come with you. You will never understand just how much that I want to go with you, but I can’t.” It would hurt him and he was the one and only being in the universe she would never harm. She loved him too much to hurt him.

  “It damn well does matter, Cecilia.” He stepped back to glare at her. Taking her hand in his, he tugged her up to the house and inside. He held up a hand when Bracken opened his mouth. “Save it. We have a situation that I’m more than a little pissed about. Give him the diary, and tell him what you just told me, little one.”

  Cece handed over the memory stick, which held all of the information Bracken needed, and took a deep breath. “Mother has sold me off into marriage. Evidently I’m being married off to hers and Catherine’s lover, and Catherine is being married off to our father’s lover.” She felt the heat rising higher in her cheeks. “He’s already signed the contracts.” She was in tears and an absolute mess. She was also ashamed by what she had just said, but it was the truth nonetheless.

  “By the stars,” Bracken muttered. He took the stick from her and shook his head. “Father has no say over what you do or don’t do. The marshal has suspended his guardianship of you since I petitioned for it. He can’t do shit, Cecilia. But you can’t stay here. It will be the first place they look. The last thing I want is for those idiots to get it into their minds to kidnap you and put you into a position that you would be trapped in. Sadie has me with her every moment of the day but you would have far too much time alone where they could possibly strike.”

  “The ship,” Draven said. “They can’t come into the port, let alone onto the destroyer, without your permission. And even if they did I can make sure they never find her. We both know that ship better than any other. There are dozens of places they’d never find because they don’t exist on the official blueprints.” When Cece looked at Draven the typically calm man was fisting his hands, his jaw locked in anger and his eyes flashing in his upset. She couldn’t figure out why he was so upset. If he were as taken with her as she was with him, then she could understand it, but what he was doing now made no sense.

  Bracken looked to her, then Draven, then back to her, with a suspicious look on his face. “Cecilia, he is right, but it’s up to you.”

  “Gladly. I trust him.” She didn’t trust a lot of people, but she did Draven. Not just because he was her bond mate, but because he was a good man. “But it will cause him trouble in the end, won’t it? If he’s caught hiding me? I can’t do anything to hurt him, Bracken. You have to understand.”

  “He won’t be caught, and if he is you let me worry about that. But you listen to him, little sister. If he tells you to hide somewhere, you do it. He is right about knowing places on the destroyer that don’t officially exist.” Bracken stepped forward and wrapped her up in his arms. “I love you, Cecilia. I will do everything in my power to keep you safe. You will not be marrying anyone you do not choose for yourself, I swear it.” He leaned in and pressed a kiss to her cheek, giving her another gentle squeeze. When he pulled back there was something in his eyes that she couldn’t quite decipher.

  “I’ll do whatever he tells me, promise.” Cece kissed Bracken’s cheek. Pulling back, she grabbed her pack and nodded. “Okay, I’m ready.” She frowned. “Shoot. Bracken, is there any way you can get my clothing sent out? I didn’t shove any in my pack. I only brought what was important.” Her sketch pads, pencils, and her personal diaries.

  “I’ll have Sadie talk with her seamstress and get a few things organized. We’ll pick them up, then send them to the ship with one of the others.” He brushed his fingers to her cheek. “I won’t let them cause you any harm, Cecilia. I swear it. Now go before someone thinks to come looking for you here. Better you were never here, than to be found here now.” The look on her brother’s face was one of deep fear, for her. She had never seen Bracken show that look to anyone except when it dealt with Sadie. Impulsively she hugged her brother back, knowing in that moment more than ever before that he really did love her.

  Draven rested a hand on her back as he waited.

  She bowed her head to her brother before she allowed Draven to lead her away from the home. Before they were fully out of her brother’s earshot, she added, “And please, ask them to create me clothing more like Sadie’s? I hate what Mother has made me wear. And give Sadie a hug for me?”

  Draven hustled her out to the street and into one of the conveyances sitting idle. Once in he punched in their destination, the port, before leaning back next to her. Letting out a breath, he patted his pockets, then cursed. He slapped a hand on the control pad, leaped out of the conveyance, and ran back toward the house. Moments later he was back and they were underway. “Sorry, I forgot I dropped it when we ran into each other. Give me a moment if you would,” he said, putting the communications device in place at his ear. “Lyncon, Draven here. I’m running behind schedule and will be late getting into port. Do not let the shippers leave. I know they’ll whine, and snivel about their schedules, but abuse Bracken’s good name a little and threaten them if you have to. If they aren’t there when I get there, you won’t need to worry about the colonel. I’ll bloody well kill you. You understand me? Good.” He pulled the communication piece from his ear and dropped it into his pocket.

  “I’m sorry. I didn’t realize I made you drop that.” Or be late. She was just one hot mess right after another when it came to him it seemed. Now that she thought about it, she recalled hearing something dropping to the ground. She cared for this man, deeply, but she appeared to cause him more trouble than not and that bothered her a great deal. “Are you sure you won’t get into trouble?”

  “Don’t worry about it. Lyncon will keep them there.” Reaching out, he put his hand lightly over hers. “I’ll be fine, Cecilia. You really don’t have to worry about me. Now what else is going on with you right now? You seem very out of sorts, and not at all like the composed young lady I’ve come to know.”

  “I honestly don’t know how to answer that,” Cece admitted bluntly. “There are so many things going through my mind at the moment, and I’m afraid that it would upset you if I were to tell you the truth.”

  “Oh,” he said with a growing frown. After a moment he wiped it away and put on that damned blank mask all of the military seemed so good at. “We wouldn’t want that, would we?” he said. He withdrew his hand and turned his attention out the window, effectively leaving her to her own thoughts.

  She felt cold and ill when he did that, but it was how their relationship seemed doomed to play out. He would never see her as anything other than his friend’s baby sister, and she would never have the backbone to tell him she was in love with him. Yep, fate screwed up on giving her to him. He deserved so much better than her. He deserved someone that would always be there for him, someone that didn’t hide in the shadows. He deserved a strong woman to be at his side, and not the shadow mouse she tended to be more often than not. She wasn’t good enough for him.

  She looked out the window on the other side of the conveyance, her bag between the two of them. She itched to draw him again, but she couldn’t allow him to see. He could never know that she spent her time dreaming of him, wanting him and desperate for him. That familiar pain was back, which had her rubbing a hand against her chest and the ache that had settled there.

  They were about halfway through their journey when he suddenly turned to look at her. “You know what, no, not this time. I want you to damn well tell me what the fuck is going on, Cecilia.” His attention fell from her for a second, and in a blur of movement he suddenly had her sketch pad in hand. How in the world he so smoothly pulled it out of her case, she didn’t know, but his next words shocked her to the core. “Care to tell me what this is about?”

  Chapter Three

  Cecilia was stunned when he swore. It was the firs
t time he had ever been so vehement in his words with her. Weirdly enough, it made her want to tell him everything. Everything. Then he’d pulled out the sketch pad, which was open to the latest drawing she was doing of him, and gasped.

  “Draven, I.” She paused and had to think of what to say. She couldn’t find the words. Habit had her looking down at her hands. Then suddenly she didn’t want to be the shy mouse anymore. With him, only him, she wanted to be that woman she really was. The woman whose paintings sold for millions of credits. That unknown woman that their world was dying to learn more about. Once more she looked at him, took in the visage of the man that was fourteen years her senior. She knew there would be issues they would have to overcome. He was older than her and had slightly different views on life. Especially with his military career. However, one of the best parts of his being older than her was the fact that he had already done everything that a younger mate would have thought to do. He was more settled. He would be hers and hers alone and that experience he’d garnered over the years would be all for her as well.

  He was handsome, almost a full foot taller than she was, and had the best eyes she had ever seen. They were very dark obsidian black with a yellow ring around the centers. It was amazing, the way that his eyes would shift. Taking another deep breath, she said, “I’ve known since I was nine that you were it for me. I’ve dreamed of you. You were twenty-three and my brother’s best friend.” She swallowed, hard. “That day when I first met you, you had reached down and pulled me from the mud puddle Catherine pushed me into. From the moment you touched me I knew you were far more than just my brother’s friend and second. I knew you were mine.” She took a deep breath, then another. “I’ve always hidden my skills with art and drawing because it would have been one more thing that my mother and sisters could take from me. I made sure the good stuff was always hidden from them. I had one of the maid’s children doing the artwork that Mother trundled out as mine.” She shrugged. “But these…these are for me only. In these books I’ve drawn what my heart’s always wanted, always needed.” Him. She waited now, needed to know just how stunned he was and when he was going to push her off to the side. Again.

  “By the stars, woman, it’s bloody well taken you long enough,” he muttered. Shaking his head, he flipped through the book, his eyebrows going up a couple of times. She was pretty sure she knew which ones got that reaction from him. Definitely not ones she’d ever wanted her family to see, that was for sure. “I was wondering when you’d actually admit to it instead of hiding behind that facade you put on.”

  “It’s been the only thing saving me from heartache,” she admitted with a shrug. “So what now?” She was certain he was going to push her off on someone else the first moment he had a chance. It was typically how it happened. “As much as I want you, as much as I need you in my life, I won’t force it. I know I’m not what you were hoping for as your other half. I wish I were. I truly do, but I won’t cause you trouble. I promise.” She itched to reach out and put her hand in his, to see if his hands were as strong as they looked. She wanted to see if he would wrap her in his arms again, wanted to feel his strong muscles pulling her tightly.

  He gave a snort at that and shot her a look. “You’ve been giving me trouble since you were nine, Cecilia Kauller. Not like I actually expect you to stop now.” Flipping the book closed, he dropped it back into her bag, then moved the bag onto the floor. In another quick move he tugged her in close, throwing her off-balance so she was leaning heavily on him. “Who are you to decide what I do and don’t want or hope for in my life?”

  “What do you mean?” she asked, not daring to hope. “And what is it that you hope for in your life, Draven?” She lifted a hand and let her fingers lightly trail over his short dark brown hair.

  “For my bond mate to finally admit to wanting me as much as I’ve wanted her for way too long. Do you have any idea how hard it’s been resisting claiming you, Cecilia? Especially given how often I’ve been around you.” His gaze drifted over her face, then lower until it seemed to get snagged on something. Lifting his free hand, he traced a finger over the top of her breast. Right where, oh crap!

  “I didn’t realize it was as hard for you as it has been for me. I’ve not said anything because you always seemed to want to push me away instead of have me anywhere close to you.”

  His admission shocked her. She never thought that he might feel the same for her as she felt for him. She had always hoped he would feel the way she did but was also more realistic than that. She glanced down at where he was looking and felt her face heat. “I…” God she couldn’t seem to think at that moment. “You have always been the one and only man I’ve wanted. I made sure the mark was there so that I could at least feel you close to me. If only in my mind.” Her top was pulled down just enough so that the script with his name over her breast was clear for him to see.

  He gave a low grunt, his finger still tracing the lettering on her skin. “You might be surprised to know I’ve had your name on me since the day after we first met. I’ll show it to you soon. If I survive your brother and his reaction to finding out we’re bond mates.”

  “You will,” she assured him. “He’ll see just how good you are for me and how much I already care about you.” She had so much more to tell Draven, secrets that her brother didn’t even know, but that would wait. This moment was only for them. “What happens now? With us? I want everything, Draven. I greedily want every single moment in time with you and to heck with what everyone thinks. This is about us, right?”

  “Of course this is about us,” he said softly. Moving his hand up to her cheek, he stroked his thumb slowly over her skin. Tipping up her chin, he lowered his head until he was brushing his lips gently over hers. “What comes next is whatever we want, together. First, though, we need to make you safe. No one can find you. You will be staying on the destroyer when we leave port, little one. I’m not letting you out of my sight again if I can damn well help it.”

  “I’m going to hold you to that,” she said with a soft smile. “And yes, getting to the destroyer and getting safe are both magnificent things. I can’t go back there. It would destroy me if I had to go back to that house and be forced into what they want to force me into.”

  “You’re not getting forced into anything, Cecilia. Bracken said it, your father has no more guardianship over you. Anything he may have signed, or promised, is null and void with the marshal. And if it doesn’t fall within the marshal’s office’s guidelines, then it doesn’t exist legally. But it wouldn’t have mattered. You wouldn’t be going back there, anyway. Because they could very well hide you somewhere that no one could ever find you, and I won’t take that chance. You are mine, no one else’s, just mine.” He pressed another kiss to her lips and tucked her in close to him for the rest of their ride to the port.

  The kiss he gave her was her third, and she wanted more. But when he tucked her in close to him she rested her head on his shoulder and sighed. “I think I could get used to having you holding me like this.”

  “I’ll hold you any time you wish,” he told her. “We’re almost to the port. Because of the entrance we’re going through you won’t need to be logged in. But keep your head down. Dig through your bag or something until we’re past the cameras. No need to make it easy on anyone to figure out you’re here. I’ll call Bracken once we’re on board and have him get Sadie to wipe our entrance off the feeds.”

  “I hadn’t thought anything about being surreptitious at all.” She was stunned that he could think of things like that. It was good that he could, but it also spoke volumes about the things he had gone through in his life that things like that came naturally to him and seemed to be almost second nature.

  “You are mine to protect,” he said. Rubbing his hand over her arm, he gave her a squeeze. “We’re here. When you get out of the conveyance keep your head down and start digging through your bag until I tell you otherwise. I’ll guide you through so you don’t run into anyone or anything,
so don’t worry about that part.” Their vehicle was slowing down, turning slightly, then settled into a marked spot where it stopped.

  “I understand,” she said and did as he had instructed when they got out of the conveyance. She moved when he put his hand to her back and allowed him to steer her through the area and onto the ship. She kept her gaze on the ground and counted the cracks in the sidewalk, smiling as she spotted a flower growing up out of the concrete. She realized then that where life was concerned there would always be a way, an odd thought, but hers all the same. When he told her she could look up, she did just that.

  He led her into a tramp and got her settled into the copilot seat before he settled in the pilot’s seat. “Control, this is Ackermann, heading up to receive shipment of supplies.”

  “You are cleared to go, Ackermann. Stay out of lane six. We have a biggie coming through there. Safe journeys.”

  “Copy that, control.” He turned off the vid, then got them off the ground and moving. “Have you been out in space before?” he asked, throwing her a curious look.

  “Never. I’ve never even been out of our province. This is the first time I’ve done so many things, and it’s very exciting.” His kiss was the first, and if she were lucky, she would be able to experience many firsts with him. “I can’t wait. I’ve always wanted to go into space. I’ve painted so many out of the world images but I’ve never seen it,” she blurted without even realizing that she was giving him her deepest secret.