Adira's Mate Read online

  “Yes, if he is in the area. Even if he isn’t he should get the message relayed to him. At which time he will make his way out here. I’m uncertain how long I’ve been gone exactly, so I’m quite certain Bracken will come across the galaxy to ensure it’s really me. Then he’ll likely smack me for taking so long.”

  “I’m so sorry!” she said with a frown. “I didn’t realize that you didn’t know the date.” She then gave him the galactic star date of 289.6987. “I don’t know when you were taken, but that’s what the date is now,” she told him as she stroked her hands over his arms, holding on to him as she did so.

  He was silent for a long time. “Three months,” he finally said. “Bracken is definitely going to beat me for taking so long to get my ass home. Though I doubt he could have done much better, given the circumstances. We shall see if he gets here first or not. I’m almost hoping it is him first, instead of one of the others who wouldn’t know respect if it smacked them in the face.”

  “Well I’m hopeful that your friend is the one that will show up as well, if only so that the first person you see from your home world is your friend.” She turned in his arms and braced her hands on his chest. “I like you. I didn’t want to like you when you took me and I certainly didn’t realize that I would trust you easily, but I do. On both counts.”

  “I should likely tell you this now, so the air is cleared between us before we continue our journey forward. I had zero intention of causing you harm, Adira. When I took you in the corridor, I’d hoped you wouldn’t fight back so you wouldn’t realize how empty my threats were. Not once have I ever harmed a woman, or child. I really wasn’t prepared to break that streak with you, though I will admit I had a couple of additional plans up my sleeve should you have proven unmovable at the time.”

  “I guess a part of me realized that.” She was silent for a few moments, then she said, “I still can’t figure out where the other two dead came from. I killed one but you had only tied up two. Why would the man have said that there were three dead?” She knew that was totally random, but she was curious as well.

  “They may have very well killed them for letting me break free. That and the fact I tied them up in a manner fully intending to humiliate them, and whomever found them. I think I’m responsible for those deaths, even if they weren’t by my hand. I was so…annoyed by the entire situation that I lashed out in the only way I could at the time. Had I just shot them and been done with the entire thing I’d likely have missed you, though.” He frowned slightly as he stared down at her. “That would have been a shame.”

  “I never would have known you. I never would have found the other half of my soul.” She never truly would have been fulfilled. Yes she might have found someone to care for, someone to marry and have a family with, but there would always be that missing piece of herself.

  “They say the universe has a plan. I can’t claim to have any idea why the universe believed locking me up to be tortured for three months was a good part of the plan, but I can admit that coming across your path was worth it. Some of it only, though, definitely not all. There are parts I truly wish I could remove forever from my memory.”

  “I can only imagine,” she admitted. “The things that you survived. I hate that you had to go through that. How are you feeling, by the way?” She flushed as she remembered his injuries. She had all but attacked the poor man by falling into his lap and kissing him and he was injured and likely hurt to have to even think about doing anything with her.

  He tapped her lightly under her chin. “You’re worrying again,” he commented. “I’m healing, Adira. It will take some time, but every hour it’s more and more. My people heal faster than your people do, and being able to touch you helps, at least in my mind if not in my body. I have some aches, and my knee still throbs, but nothing is truly painful any longer. I’d ask if you were a mystic, holding me under some spell, but I wouldn’t want to offend you by suggesting such a thing.”

  “If I am one, then you must be as well. I am completely yours, every touch that you give me, every single time that you even look at me, I find myself aching to come closer to you. I need to be closer to you. I look at you and I need. It’s the oddest of feelings.”

  “Definitely strange,” he agreed. Lowering his head, Fin brushed his nose lightly to hers. “I happen to like it. Though I worry what others may say. I don’t rightly care what they may think, but it’s what they say that has me concerned. I’d rather you weren’t hurt by their stupidity, and misguided concerns.”

  Adira shrugged. “I’ll survive. I have survived a lot in life, I think that I will be able to handle their words against me.” As long as it wasn’t against him. As long as it didn’t affect him she would survive, somehow and someway. “I don’t care what people think about me as long as you like me.”

  “I most definitely like you,” he said. His fingers slid over her throat lightly, stroking up and down her fluttering pulse. Then he pressed his palm to her skin, his fingers wrapping lightly around her neck. “I have a great many plans for you, Adira mine. Many of which we will need to discuss at some point.” Fin moved his lips lightly across hers to her other cheek, where he let them drift back and forth over her skin.

  “And when do we have this discussion?” She swayed into him, her eyes closed and hand on his chest. She felt as if she had been waiting for this man to come into her life from her earliest moments. “I am more than willing to fill all of your needs.” She hoped so, at least.

  “Once we are picked up and secure. I don’t like the idea of wandering about in this crawler. It screams Imarian, and makes us a target for any who decide to ignore the broadcast going out. It’s why I’m hopeful Bracken finds us before anyone else. At least he’ll know for sure it’s my words, and not something the Imarian scientists cooked up as a trap.”

  “And if it is someone other than your friend that finds us first? Will they part us and imprison me while locking you into your quarters while they try to figure out what is real and what is a trap?” That was something she could easily see happening and it scared her to her toes. More than ever, she was hopeful that it would be his friend that found them.

  “Or make us disappear in a cloud of shrapnel.” He gave a lazy shrug. His lips continued to ghost over her skin, moving toward her ear. “It’s hard to say. There are many who would love to open up a slot so they might get the chance at running their own destroyer. There are only so many top positions, and it’s hard to get there without killing one off or hoping one is taken out in some manner. Sadly we’re rather easy pickings out here. I’ll have to change our course in a few hours, send another message to Bracken, and cross my fingers once more that we don’t meet up with someone I’ve pissed off over the years.”

  “By the stars, Fin, you are truly a man full of secrets, aren’t you?” she asked with a grin. “I can imagine that you have to be hard to kill.” Petr was one such being as well. He was a Fleet admiral and had been targeted more than once by the Craegin and even by those under him. “I understand what you mean, though. Sadly, when you reach a certain position everyone wants what you have and will do whatever they must in order to have it.”

  “Very true,” he said. His lips brushed over her earlobe, and she felt the bite of his teeth. A light tug before he released it, and drew back a little. “So, what are our plans for the next two hours before I need to make a course correction?”

  “I have nothing planned at all. Our meal is cooking slowly in the baking unit,” she told him and tilted her head to the side to give him full and free access to her. “What do you think we should do in order to pass the next two hours?”

  “I think we should talk,” he said. Rubbing his thumb up and down her throat, he leaned back a little further. She watched as his gaze slid down her body, then up once more. “I’m sure we have any number of things we could discuss.”

  “I agree.” She took a deep breath, pulled back slightly, and tugged his hand. “Do we talk in the sleeping quarters
or on the flight deck? Which would be more comfortable for you?” She looked him over and nodded. “I’m worried for you, Fin. You choose where you would be most comfortable, please.”

  “The sleeping quarters, I think. I can put my leg up in a comfortable position, and you can sit in close.” When she tugged on his hand again he finally, slowly released her throat. Turning his hand, he caught hers in his and tugged her behind him out into the corridor.

  When his hand moved from her throat, she swallowed. “Is it wrong that I liked you touching me like that?” It was something she hadn’t wanted to think about, just how comforting she found his hand upon her throat, how safe she had felt and needy as well.

  “Not in the least,” he told her. In the sleeping quarters he settled onto the bunk, a pillow under his leg, and the others at his back. “Come, sit,” he said, patting the spot next to him.

  Taking the seat that he had offered her, she settled in close to him. Her head on his shoulder, she closed her eyes, reveling in the feel of her hand upon his chest and the heat of him surrounding her fully. “What is it that we should discuss?”

  “Anything you wish,” he told her. “I’m sure you have a number of questions, about a great many things. Choose something you require an answer to and I’ll do my best to give you that answer. You ask a question, and then I will ask one in turn.”

  “So…you have your own destroyer. What is your ranking?” She didn’t care, but it was the first question that popped into her mind. “Since you have your own ship you will be able to have me with you when you are offworld, right?”

  “I’m ranked as a general in our Armada, and yes, you can come with me wherever I go. Though generals rarely are on a destroyer, I prefer to be in space as much as I can to ensure that I don’t get sucked in by someone’s political agenda on our home world.” He ran a finger up and down her arm. “What all was entailed in your position?” he asked softly. “You needn’t go into any great detail, or too scientific on me, but I am curious as to what all you were in charge of.”

  “You sound just like my brother,” she mused with a smile. “He stays in space as much as he possibly can as well so that he’s not cornered by some eligible girl and her equally desperate mother or so that he’s not drawn into some political debate.” She was stroking her hand over his chest as she spoke. “As head of the Medical Ministries, I run all of our medical facilities. If there is a breakout of illness, I’m called in.” She shrugged. “Largely I’m the one who moves the paperwork. I hate paperwork. With a passion.”

  “I’ve never been highly fond of paperwork either. Thankfully there’s usually someone else that can attend to it instead of me. Though some I can’t escape because of security clearances. What is your next question, Adira?”

  “Have you ever backed away from a fight?” she asked and looked up at him. “One that you weren’t sure of winning without a tragic loss of life. Would you ever back away from one?” By the stars, she prayed that he never had to face off against Petr. “My brother, he’s in our military services as well.”

  He shot her a curious look, but didn’t push it. “I’ve made a number of strategic retreats to gain the upper hand, or to allow us time to rethink the situation. Only once have I ever pulled back entirely from a fight I wasn’t completely sure I could win. I’ve never felt the need to beat an opponent where I’m outgunned, or outmanned, for the sake of pride. If I feel I can’t win, I’m more than willing to withdraw.” He fell silent for a moment. “Is there anyone on your home world you’re leaving behind with a pining, and quite possibly broken, heart?”

  That had her grinning. “No. Not at all. There is no one that ever was more than someone to ease a biological ache. The only person that I’m leaving behind is my brother.” She heard the sadness in her own voice and added, “He’s an admiral in the Fleet. He’s fought many wars but has pulled back from only one as well. Odd, don’t you think?”

  “Not really. We can’t win them all, and it takes a wise and strong leader to know when the battle’s lost even before the first shot is fired. To get to positions such as mine, or his, you have to prove you are willing to not only commit, but also to make the hardest choice of all. To retreat until a better day comes that favors you over your opponent.”

  “It’s eerie how much like Petr you sound,” she blurted. “I like it.” She lay her head back on his shoulder and asked,“And you have told me that there is no one home waiting for you. Do you have family? Sisters, brothers, mother, father?”

  “No, there is no one,” he said quietly. “My mother died during an outbreak of some sort when I was barely old enough to move under my own power. My father was in the Armada, and died in battle when I was in training as a young man. Could barely shave, yet I’d lost everyone I considered mine. Bracken was there to get me through the loss of my father. For that, I can never repay him.”

  “Heavens, I’m so sorry, Fintan.” She caught her lip between her teeth. “That’s a fear that I think everyone with a spouse in the services has, the fear of losing them.”

  “True,” he agreed. “But that’s a depressing topic, and one I think we should avoid for the moment. I believe it’s my turn to ask a question, so I think I’ll ask something a little harder. What is your favorite part of a sexual relationship?”

  “Hmm, that is a very hard question.” As strange as it was, Adira wasn’t shocked by his inquiry. If anyone had the right to ask her that question, it certainly was him. Adira closed her eyes and thought about it for a moment. “Learning. Yes, I know that’s a strange thing to say is one of my favorite parts, but there it is. Learning about myself, about my partner.” Although there were things she hadn’t been able to experience as of yet. “Although, honestly?” She pulled back so she could look at him. “I haven’t experienced what I’ve needed as of yet. I haven’t found someone that I could give all of my trust to and allow him to ensure our mutual satisfaction.”

  “Trust is very important, especially the more adventurous you get. The more you test the limits, push the boundaries and explore, the more trust is required between partners. You need to know that, no matter what happens, your partner’s first thought is always on you and your pleasure.”

  She didn’t say anything for a time, but finally she nodded. “I trust you.” Those three words hadn’t been spoken by her before to a male, not when it came to sex. She trusted her brother, but this was physical trust, sexual trust that she gave to Fintan.

  He looked stunned for a moment, then a softer, heated look slid over his face. Cupping her cheek, he leaned in to press a kiss to her lips. “I trust you as well, Adira. More than you’ll ever fully know,” he said, and kissed her again.

  “Good.” She brushed her nose to his and nodded. “In a relationship we must have trust, right? If we aren’t able to fully trust each other, then we can’t very well be able to trust ourselves. Right?”

  Fin nodded. “Absolutely. You have to trust so you can give fully of yourself, and so you can also receive everything your partner has to offer. Without it, it’s shallow and empty. Which really makes for a rather awkward and meaningless endeavor.” Stroking a finger down her cheek, he pulled her head back to his shoulder when he settled into place once more. “Next question,” he said to her.

  “Do you have a home outside of your ship? I know some men in the service prefer to keep their ship as their only home, but not all.” Her brother had homes outside of his ship but rarely saw them.

  “Only an apartment in the city, a few moments from the port. I’ve always found it too large for myself, but with position comes certain amenities. I was considering purchasing a home outside the city, but it seemed foolish for only myself, and would take me too far away when I might be required to ship out.” There was a moment’s pause before Fin began to tell her a bit about the city. “It’s beautiful, the city. It’s not like the country but the city has its own charms that are second to none. I will take you to the market one day. They line the roads with their wares, t
hey barter and trade with one and all. It’s a sight that I’m positive you’ll enjoy.” His hand caressed her hair as he spoke.

  “I’d like that.” She nodded and rubbed her cheek to his chest, her hand stroking him lightly. “What other questions do you have for me, Fintan?” She wanted him to know everything about her that he might possibly need to know.

  “Many, many questions,” he said. “I don’t want to embarrass you, though, with them. Since we don’t know one another as well as I’d like yet, I’m holding my tongue. They are very personal, very intimate, and will require a lot of detail in the answers.”

  “Fin, you can ask me anything at all. If I can answer it, I will. I won’t be all weird on you, I promise,” she assured him. “You should be able to ask me anything, if we are going to be in this together.”

  “You’re right of course.” He shifted slightly, lifting one of her hands up, and began to play with her fingers. For a time he was quiet. A quick glance made her think he was considering his words. “First I think I should tell you something, put it out there, see if it’s something you’re comfortable with. Which you will need to be if we actually bond, because it is who I am.”

  Fin looked to her then, met her gaze dead on and held it for a time. “I don’t know if the Imarians are aware of this or not. Craegin males are highly dominant. We’re naturally this way, always have been, likely always will be. Our women, while submissive, are by no means under our thumbs. The males of my race are aggressive, but we channel it specifically so that we maintain a societal balance, and so we’re not always in scuffles and such, if that makes any sense at all.”

  That had her frowning and she tilted her head, moving so that she could look at him. “Okay. No, I didn’t know that about your people, but I’m okay with that.” She felt herself blushing, the heat moving across her cheeks and the bridge of her nose. “I actually like that. A lot. With the position that I have, I’ve never been able to let go and give in to the needs inside of myself. I’ve had to put up walls to keep from showing the desires that I’ve always had inside of me.”